Man Gets Fiancé Lab-Grown Diamond Ring, Fiancé Wants Natural Stone, Pitches Fit

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mattstaff
May 19, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

Honestly, it seems like this guy's fiancé is having a reaction that's blown way out of proportion. Like, the dude went out of his way to squirrel away upwards of $20K to be able to put the money down on a stunning diamond ring, and then you have the audacity to continually pester him over the fact that you wanted a natural stone vs. a lab grown. Plus, his reasoning for going with the lab grown diamond is completely morally sound. Hopefully they're able to work this one out. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - 1 e 1 2 AITA For buying my fiance a lab grown diamond and refusing to exchange it for a natural stone? Not the A-hole Throwaway account, for reasons. I (30m) proposed to my (then) girlfriend (27f) of 5 years last month, it was wonderful and she said yes, and we were never happier.
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  • 02
    Font - Last week was when the trouble started, as she asked me how much I had spent on her ring. I told her that I had spent about $20,000 on it that I had been squirrling away for the last 10 years. (When I first started saving I was planning on building a kit car but when I started seriously considering proposing I decided it was worth spending the money on the ring.) She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone (3.
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  • 03
    Font - Over the last week I have explaned to her multiple times my reasons for going lab grown, (It is better for the environment, I know the exact origing of the stone, so I know it isn't a conflict stone, and ultimately it is better value for the money and I wanted to get her the most beautiful ring possible.) and that lab grown diamonds are in every way real diamonds and that they are also indistinguishable from natural ones unless you look at their certificate. I have also pointed out that s
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  • 04
    Font - Yesterday she asked me if I would be willing to exchange it for a natural stone of equivalent value. Normally I would be happy to, but I spent months searching for the perfect ring for her and also, though value was the biggest reason for me, the idea of potentially getting a blood diamond really does sicken me. So I said no, and said if she wanted to give the ring back and end our relationship, that is fine, but I would not exchange it. She called me an asshole and went to stay the night
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  • 05
    Font - CZT1991 · 1d Partassipant [2] This is a pretty good sign of how the actual wedding and marriage will go imo. NTA. You're trying to look out for the world, if a "real" stone was that important to her, she probably would've brought up being against/ wanting a lab created diamonds some point in your relationship. She's being picky and should've been happy about the ring, which btw, sounds gorgeous (and I commend your effort for looking into options for so long) Keep being a dope person. Also
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  • 06
    Font - uhtredsbabymama · 1d Partassipant [2] E 1 Award NTA - I can't understand why you'd want to be with someone who is willing to actually end a relationship over a non-conflict diamond that was given to her out of love and a hope for a future together. Mind boggling to me how much of an A H she is being. I can only imagine what else she demands or will demand from you going forward. G Reply 672 3 ...
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  • 07
    Rectangle - Beautiful_mistakes · 1d Partassipant [2] NTA You spent $20,000 on a ring and she isn't happy? I think you have bigger fish to fry. What's going to be enough for her? G Reply 935 ... +
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  • 08
    Font - Alternative_Ad_921 • 1d Partassipant [1] NTA i hate it when people don't appreciate gifts and demand more. This is a red flag. you might have to think about the sort of lifestyle she wants and what you can actually give. If someone is willing to end a relationship over materialistic things it's not going to last unless you are a millionaire. G Reply 4 260 ...
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  • 09
    Font - IllegalBerry · 1d NTA. You spent 20k on a ring, more than a lot of people spend on their actual wedding, rings included. You made sure to consider her tastes and got feedback from her loved ones to make sure it fits her personality and aesthetics. She is upset that... What? You didn't spend more? You didn't get her a smaller, but also way more sketchy stone? The paper that comes with her ring doesn't have all the words she'd like on it? G Reply ↑ 199 3 ...
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  • 10
    Font - manhattansinks · 1d NAH. an engagement ring, much like proposals, need to be discussed beforehand. it's commendable that you don't want to support the diamond industry, but that they're charging so much for a lab created stone is wild. $20k is a huge chunk of change to be spending with no input from the person who will be wearing it. shop vintage / pre owned or through a reputable antique jeweller imo. G Reply 4 123 3 ...
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  • 11
    Font - e1777 · 1d NTA. Jesus christ. Your fiancee sounds deeply materialistic. G Reply 4 148 3 ...
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  • 12
    Font - Nikkig-r · 1d Partassipant [1] NTA but might be a good time to re-evaluate if you want to feel like an AH for the rest of your life, because I feel like that's exactly what's going to happen if you go through with this marriage. G Reply 4 64 3 ...
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  • 13
    Font - NTA I'm surprised you're OK with this giant red flag that is slapping you in the face though. To each their own. G Reply 1 59 3 ...
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  • 14
    Font - stiletto929 · 1d NAH. She wants a "real" diamond, ie a mined one. She's the one who's going to be wearing it, not you, and it sounds like you can return the one you bought. Honestly, $20,000 is a crazy amount for a ring anyway. So l would suggest talking about buying a smaller, more reasonably priced ethically sourced diamond she regards as more real. G Reply 4 40 3
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